Once upon a time, a woman moved to a cave in the mountains to study the guru. She wanted, she said, to learn everything there was to know. The guru supplied her with stacks of books and left her alone so she could study. Every morning, the guru returned to the cave to monitor the woman’s progress. In his hand, he carried a heavy wooden cane.
Each morning, he asked her the same question: “Have you learned everything there is to know yet?”
Each morning, her answer was the same. “No,” she said, “I haven’t.”
The guru would then strike her over the head with his cane.
This scenario repeated itself for months. One day the guru entered the cave, asked the same question, heard the same answer, and raised his cane to hit her in the same way, but the woman grabbed the cane from the guru, stopping his assault in midair. Relieved to end the daily battering but fearing reprisal, the woman looked up at the guru. To her surprise, the guru smiled.
“Congratulations,” he said, “you have graduated. You now know everything you need to know.”
“How’s that?” the woman replied.
“You have learned that you will never learn everything there is to know,” he said with a half smile and sincere look. “And you have learned how to stop the pain.”
I’ve been reading a book about “co-dependency” – the concept of losing oneself in the name of others- and this old story was told towards the beginning. It seems that many women around the world struggle with feeling the need to please others, almost to the point of ripping themselves apart in order for others to be whole.
So in honor of international women’s day, I wanted to share this story for all the mothers, sisters, wives, and young ladies out there. You already have it in you to stop any pain or insecurity you feel and gain control over your life.
Just reach up and stop the cane.
Here are a few of my favorite pictures of women I’ve met around the globe over the years. All of them beautiful, unique, and inspiring.
If you would like to read more about co-dependency and how it has affected our culture and society, pick up Melody Beattie’s book “Codependent No More”.
haleybee 