I was in California staying at my mom’s house recently with my best friend and we did all the typical things; shopping, Disneyland, ate whatever we wanted, had drinks, and laughed more than I can ever remember. It was an amazing 48 hours and time spent with people I love, which is priceless. Even though there are many wonderful things I could elaborate on, I was really only struck by ONE moment during the trip; a fashion show my mom put on for Hillary (my bestie) and I after hours of shopping and convincing her she should buy something nice for herself.
Sounds silly right? After all, I was in California and in the happiest place on earth but, you could tell that this purchase my mom had just made for herself was the first one in a long time and it REALLY brightened her day. She felt beautiful in those clothes and I, being the clothes horse that I am, felt over-joyed that she had given into my nagging and bought herself some nice outfits for work.
Now, I’m not saying anything like, “go bankrupt and spend your savings to make yourself happy”, but I am suggesting that there is a difference between being selfish, and taking care of your self. I can not stress enough how important it is for women to stop relying on men to tell them they are pretty, or work themselves to death, trying to be perfect, thinking that someday it will pay off. As women, it is completely OUR responsibility to take control of the way we feel about ourselves, emotionally, physically, and spiritually (whatever you believe). Take time to tell yourself you are beautiful, and when you are done, get on the treadmill for 20 min, save some money so you can buy those new pair of shoes you’ve been asking your boyfriend/husband for, then get on your knees and be thankful for everything you have. Isn’t it true that when you are physically well manicured, your attitude and perception of yourself changes? You start to love yourself more and care about your emotional sense of self just as much.
Some people reading this might think, “wow she is SO vain, it all starts from within”, but I honestly don’t care. I saw my own mother go through a process of buyers remorse, beating herself up about spending money on herself until she put those beautiful clothes on and her whole face lit up. Her confidence sky rocketed and with that, comes the ability to take on a new day and work on keeping that emotional confidence high.
My grandma, who is 86 years old, STILL shops from magazines and orders a new shirt or pair of slacks every month, even though she is living in a home and there is probably no one paying attention. She does it for herself and she has always been a fashionista… not to mention, one of the strongest/beautiful women on this planet. Coincidence? I think not. I strongly believe the way we present ourselves as women on the outside, shows how we feel about ourselves on the inside. It is not being SELFISH by buying something new every once and a while to lift our spirits or spending time away from the kids to go to the gym. We must make it a priority to take care of ourselves so we can be sane enough to effectively take care of others when they need us most.
I will say this before I end this little rant, that there are extremes to everything, so I hope most of the people reading this realize that I am talking to the women who haven’t spent any cash on themselves, sat down and enjoyed a glass of wine, piece of chocolate, or left the children with a babysitter for a while. I’m talking to the average woman who probably doesn’t make much money, may have NO money, or spends it all on the kids, husband, house, bills, etc. Go! Do something nice for yourself! When YOU take care of YOU, YOU are better equipped and prepared to take on the rest of the world. And please, don’t feel bad about it.
And to all the guys, you might be hating me now, but when your wife/girlfriend walks in the door with new found confidence and excitement, you are going to be thanking me. Just trust me. Let the fashion shows begin…
haleybee 